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Another Pup Quiz from The Caninologist

The Caninologist

Response to our last Caninologist quiz was so overwhelming — thank you both! — we decided to try it again. So here’s Caninologist Pup Quiz No. 2. We will be happy to send you the answers as soon as you renew your Bay Woof subscription. (Send proof of payment with a SASE to the Editor and she will be sure to pass it on.)


1. Who are the most self-righteous people on the planet?

A. Vegans

B. Bicyclists

C. MAGA people

D. Fort Funston dog walkers

E. All of the above


2. The average dog is smarter than the smartest cat.

A. True

B. False

C. Duh!


3. The latest scientific studies on canine intelligence proved that:

A. Dogs are super smart.

B. Some dogs are smart and others are not.

C. Dogs are no smarter than any other predator.

D. Scientists spend way too much time studying canine intelligence.

E. All of the above


4. After they pee, dogs scratch the ground because:

A. They want to get a couple more dribbles out.

B. It’s a way to mark their territory with scratch marks in the turf.

C. They like flinging grass and dirt on people.

D. No one knows.


5. Why do dogs walk around in circles before they lay down?

A. It’s their way to “fluff the pillows.”

B. They get a little dizzy, which helps beat canine insomnia.

C. Walking in circles helps them tuck in their tails.

D. No one knows.


6. If a female dog is a “bitch,” what do you call a male dog?

A. A butch

B. A sire

C. A bastard

D. A dog


7. What do vegans feed their dogs if they want to be 100 percent vegan?

A. Lentils

B. Ridiculous vegetarian dog food not even a cat would eat.

C. Pureed MAGA hats.

D. Regular dog food; they just don’t read the label.


8. A new study out of the University of Liverpool found that:

A.  Fat dogs don’t live as long as ripped dogs but may have more fun.

B. More dogs are named Ringo than John, Paul, and George combined.

C. Even the dogs can’t understand the accent.

D. The proper name for a male dog in Liverpool is “Liverpoodlian.”

E. All of the above


9. Cats have catnip. What do dogs have?

A. Absinthe

B. Garbage

C. Anything rotten

D. Dog poop

E. All of the above


10. Bay Woof magazine’s staff dachshund was forced to resign recently because:

A. He licked something he shouldn’t have.

B. He kept demanding hamburgers with his lentils.

C. He disrupted staff meetings with some inappropriate meowing.

D. He missed one too many deadlines.


Carl T. Hall is a longtime union organizer in San Francisco who is now a co-owner of Word. A Café, a dog friendly coffee shop now open for business in the Bayview Neighborhood. Readers can pick up copies of Bay Woof there, too.